Post by Super Mario on Jul 24, 2005 11:03:20 GMT -5
I'm so fucking sick of getting myspace chain lettes. I have deleted people for sending more than 2 in a 24 hour period...
so i give yout his rant
1. "NEW PICS" bulletins are fucking desperate and sad.
2. Don't throw up gang signs in your user pictures.
(F.Y.I. actual gangsters don't have MySpace's, sorry)
3. Don't flash gang signs anywhere, at all, end of story.
4. List bands that don't really exist in your profile, it's cool.
5. Myspace is not real life.
6. If you've ever posted a "MySpace is shutting down" bulletin, I fucking hate you, and your entire family. If you honestly took your time to re-post something for fear of having your precious MySpace deleted, then I've probably lost all respect for you, and you should look into getting a life.
7. Slideshows, 2+ videos on a page, and "insane graphics" do not make you look cool. They make you annoying. And yes, I hate you.
8. If you highly exploit the idea that you've ever smoked marijuana before, with every other word on your page and "sick pics of ur BONG" then check yourself. Realize that you've based your entire image around being less intelligent than most.
9. School pictures, sports team pictures, and pictures of your friends without you in them, are all things that nobody gives a fuck about. And deep down inside, you've known that all along.
10. You should probably question your sexuality if you take more pictures of yourself, than anything else in your camera.
11. "I don't really watch tv" = LIAR
12. "I don't really read" = BUSH SUPPORTER
13. If you list anyone who's ever appeared on MTV's TRL, in your heroes section, then you need to drive your god damn jetta away from the mall, and go to a fucking library. Now.
14. MySpace is not real life.
15. If you die before deleting your myspace, it will be up as long as anyone else's is.
16. If you die because of your myspace being deleted, I lack sympathy for you. This is not the stock market. If Tom dies, and you label the upcoming drama "the great deppression," I will strongly consider hunting your family pet.
17. Myspace has made Tila Tequila a genuine low-level celebrity. Honestly, think about that.
18. Posting the same bulletin 3 times in a row is never an accident, and is only idiotic. It should grant you a free punch in the throat.
19. MySpace is not real life.
20. Comments:
a. "thnx 4 the add" is not a comment, it's a message
b. "just showin' sum luv" is not a comment, it's a stupid message
c. "oh my god, u were sooooo wasted last night at the show, i can't believe u gave that creepy guy your number!!!!" is not a comment, it's a sad attempt to exploit the lesser known fact that you might possibly have a non-internet social life.
22. Friendster was not "back in the day."
23. Nobody wants to watch the "So Crazy In Love" video everytime they look at your page.
24. No one wants to watch the "So Crazy In Love" video, period.
25. Posting a comment such as "yum, ur fucken hawtt, or damn, ur hella fine" underneath a decent looking girls picture, is not going to get you laid. Ever.
26. MySpace is not real life.
27. You're never going get to a free iPod, with no strings attached ever. Sorry.
28. "Cool New People" According to fucking who?
29. You never actually "only made one to look at other people's." It's a lie, and a shitty one at that.
30. Listing your city/location with the word "baby!!" after it, is not appealing.
31. NeIthEr iZ WrItInG LyKe ThIs 0r +h!$. (If you've ever done that, ever, even "in like 7th grade," I will never have sex with you. Or your mother)
32. If you use the terms: "scenesters, emo's, hardcore kids, electro-clashers, or punx," or write the abbreviation HxC, sXe, even in the sense that you're making fun of the above listed, I hate you. I don't think you're cool, and I'd most likely like to pour Morton Salt in your eyelids.
33. Finally, to all the people of myspace who take pictures of the tops of their heads are fucking retarded, and need to be penciled in for a sudden visit from the Angel of Death!
Tom isn't going to delete you.
You're not going to die.
Your crush isn't going to notice you.
Something good will definately NOT happen to you.
No kids are gonna show up at your bedside.
All the chain letters do is slow things down and cause Tom to have to put the site down for Maintance.
so i give yout his rant
1. "NEW PICS" bulletins are fucking desperate and sad.
2. Don't throw up gang signs in your user pictures.
(F.Y.I. actual gangsters don't have MySpace's, sorry)
3. Don't flash gang signs anywhere, at all, end of story.
4. List bands that don't really exist in your profile, it's cool.
5. Myspace is not real life.
6. If you've ever posted a "MySpace is shutting down" bulletin, I fucking hate you, and your entire family. If you honestly took your time to re-post something for fear of having your precious MySpace deleted, then I've probably lost all respect for you, and you should look into getting a life.
7. Slideshows, 2+ videos on a page, and "insane graphics" do not make you look cool. They make you annoying. And yes, I hate you.
8. If you highly exploit the idea that you've ever smoked marijuana before, with every other word on your page and "sick pics of ur BONG" then check yourself. Realize that you've based your entire image around being less intelligent than most.
9. School pictures, sports team pictures, and pictures of your friends without you in them, are all things that nobody gives a fuck about. And deep down inside, you've known that all along.
10. You should probably question your sexuality if you take more pictures of yourself, than anything else in your camera.
11. "I don't really watch tv" = LIAR
12. "I don't really read" = BUSH SUPPORTER
13. If you list anyone who's ever appeared on MTV's TRL, in your heroes section, then you need to drive your god damn jetta away from the mall, and go to a fucking library. Now.
14. MySpace is not real life.
15. If you die before deleting your myspace, it will be up as long as anyone else's is.
16. If you die because of your myspace being deleted, I lack sympathy for you. This is not the stock market. If Tom dies, and you label the upcoming drama "the great deppression," I will strongly consider hunting your family pet.
17. Myspace has made Tila Tequila a genuine low-level celebrity. Honestly, think about that.
18. Posting the same bulletin 3 times in a row is never an accident, and is only idiotic. It should grant you a free punch in the throat.
19. MySpace is not real life.
20. Comments:
a. "thnx 4 the add" is not a comment, it's a message
b. "just showin' sum luv" is not a comment, it's a stupid message
c. "oh my god, u were sooooo wasted last night at the show, i can't believe u gave that creepy guy your number!!!!" is not a comment, it's a sad attempt to exploit the lesser known fact that you might possibly have a non-internet social life.
22. Friendster was not "back in the day."
23. Nobody wants to watch the "So Crazy In Love" video everytime they look at your page.
24. No one wants to watch the "So Crazy In Love" video, period.
25. Posting a comment such as "yum, ur fucken hawtt, or damn, ur hella fine" underneath a decent looking girls picture, is not going to get you laid. Ever.
26. MySpace is not real life.
27. You're never going get to a free iPod, with no strings attached ever. Sorry.
28. "Cool New People" According to fucking who?
29. You never actually "only made one to look at other people's." It's a lie, and a shitty one at that.
30. Listing your city/location with the word "baby!!" after it, is not appealing.
31. NeIthEr iZ WrItInG LyKe ThIs 0r +h!$. (If you've ever done that, ever, even "in like 7th grade," I will never have sex with you. Or your mother)
32. If you use the terms: "scenesters, emo's, hardcore kids, electro-clashers, or punx," or write the abbreviation HxC, sXe, even in the sense that you're making fun of the above listed, I hate you. I don't think you're cool, and I'd most likely like to pour Morton Salt in your eyelids.
33. Finally, to all the people of myspace who take pictures of the tops of their heads are fucking retarded, and need to be penciled in for a sudden visit from the Angel of Death!
Tom isn't going to delete you.
You're not going to die.
Your crush isn't going to notice you.
Something good will definately NOT happen to you.
No kids are gonna show up at your bedside.
All the chain letters do is slow things down and cause Tom to have to put the site down for Maintance.